Dear Mr. Obama:

First, let me say what a huge supporter I am. My girlfriend and I are rooting for you. My girlfriend, who actually knows about politics, suggests that you might want to try to look a little more enthusiastic. She’s afraid that if you don’t step up, Hillary is going to get the Democratic Nomination, and then we’ll end up with a Mormon in the white house.
My girlfriend and I are also enjoy watching old Soul Train episodes and we’re in on your little secret. We’ve seen you on several episodes, Mr. Obama. And we’re not the only ones who have spotted you. Corduroy jacket with elbow patches ring a bell, Mr. “I’m Rocking the collegiate look way before that collegiate look was the look”? You look great. You dance great. We’re just worried that when this story breaks there might be some sort of smear campaign, attempting to associate you with the free and loose mores of the Swinging Seventies.
Far be it from us, Mr. Obama, to make suggestions to you, but here’s one possible thought. Turn this disadvantage into an advantage. Dust off the corduroy and bust a move, Barach! Seriously shaking your shit will show that you’re not just another wind-bag politician. Nothing says “Man of the People”, not to mention “Power to the People” like dancing to groovy funk and/or disco music. Perhaps Mr. Cornelius would even let you use his line. “… and you can bet your last money, this election’s gonna be a stone gas, honey! I’m Barach Obama, and as always, in parting, we wish you love, peace and soul!” sincerely, your loyal supporter,

Ed Scripsi